Hiccups, as might have been already explained, was Biscuits other secret friend besides Bobbin and she would come out occasionally when Biscuits didn`t ask her to come out like in the mornings when she was supposed to go to school but she had drunk too much milk.
Biscuits did make a good friend of Hiccups though, and she used to say that she was her best friend of all her most secret friends, if anybody asked her and she did not think it was extraordinary at all. It was not really my idea of a good friend, someone who would creep up on her when she didn`t want them to. When she was about to say something REALLY IMPORTANT. So Biscuits was never really on her own for very long really and she didn`t mind if Hiccups came to see her even when she was not invited. And Biscuits was never bored when Hiccups was around as she was always waiting for the next one to come along. So that if you said you were you were a Hiccup.
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Biscuits Secret.
The thing which most people didn`t know and that no one will ever admit to you , is that Biscuits was an alcoholic. Bisky didn't like to talk about her boozy habits but she did like to swig down the whisky whenever there was a quiet spell with nothing to do and she would make these quiet spells in her day so that others would leave her alone so that she could get on with the task of being a thorough drunkard. Bisky was too young really to ever have any liking or real need for the Booze but she did have an old whisky bottle which she found buried in the back garden, which she had cleaned and filled with water and she would go hiccupping all around the lanes near her house so that the policeman and his wife, if they should see, would become quite worried about the condition of poor biscuits and used to wonder what they ought to do.
Although it was quaint of Biscuits to affect the mannerisms of an alcoholic it was something which extended way beyond the realms of being merely a bad joke. Biscuits had the whole routine down like a finely balanced act. Although many people talked about Old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house for sometimes the whole afternoon, no one would ever talk about Biscuits and some would say it was her lack of profile within the community on account of her being so small which had driven her to establishing this routine in the first place.
Although many would glance the way of old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house until many hours after they had finished drinking, there would not be any who would spare a scrap of conversation with him anything much of the time of day. Biscuits would wrap herself in old lettuce leafs to annoy the old codger and would dodge about in angry swerving motions to avoid his constant verbal abuse while at the same time provoking it. He was not the first drunk in the world and he should very probably not be the last but if there was hope for drunks the world over that one could send to them en masse, it should be that they might have a friend like Biscuits. Biscuits made being drunk look very easy. She would do all sorts of things to make Old Jack`s life a misery. You hardly had to be drunk at all with Biscuits about for if she became a little drunk at all, by drinking too much water or sometimes fizzy pop, if she became drunk at all, then she could catch you off guard with one of her drunken phrases like. "You know who you is you are you know." Which was always true no matter who you were. She would become all slurry and stupid after that. So no one would pretend that they had heard her when she said such stupid things. Things which were true anyway and did not really even need to be said.
They could not believe sometimes the rubbish that she would come out with when she would say things like: "There is more out than is in. More out than in you know." Until it became a mantra, I don`t think that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that you were not going to forget what she has said until late into the middle of the nigh. So that you would not forget her when you went home and tried to sleep easy in the night. You would hear the words: "There is more out than is in." repeated over and over. I don't think there is anything which she said which made sense most of the time anyway and there were few but Gerlinky who would trouble themselves to talk when she was sober. But when Biscuits was drunk she was terrible. There is nothing worse than a child of six or seven who is completely drunk and few would know as few have ever encountered a drunken biscuit.
There are eleven or twelve rules which should be observed if life is to be lived t its simples and this would be one of them. NEVER GIVE ALCOLHOL TO CHILDREN.
Although children will thank you they will not be grateful as a professional drinker like Old Jack would be grateful and who would still be pulling faces at you at three o`clock in the afternoon.
Biscuits hadn't wanted to become such an addict to the demon drink but since she had decided not to be tee-total she had some rum old times with Jack. Since discovering that she was an alcoholic Biscuits missed no social event that ever took place in the village in order that she might reach the heights of alcoholic giddiness she had so long desired to arrive at. She would now progress with thanks to the Vicar`s wifes` supply, who had carelessly left a bottle of home made lemon fizz under one of the tables at the village fete. Biscuits would now hold her nose with two fingers as she would down this lethal brew as if it were some godly nectar and not the urine of some farm animal, which it may as well have been. Biscuits did not like to make a show of her drinking and smoking really, though she nearly always would end up swaggering about puffing furiously at one of those sweet cigarettes which adults buy for children to get them through their teens so they are bound to take up smoking for real. Child junkies are (like Biscuits,) so often the victims of their own making and in need of a little love when there isn`t any. Biscuits didn't see the wonder in it all or question why it was that she saw these things the way that she did when she had drunk too much water or whatever she was on. She was by then too drunk to notice. But she knew that she was bound to end up in a huddled heap somewhere under a table with her head spinning if she did not watch her drinking. She knew if it didn`t get any better when her head wasn`t spinning and she just sat down and looked at the sky and it all seemed to go round and round and round and it wasn`t the clouds which were going in circles but her head so then she must have been drunk.
Biscuits didn`t know if she was drunk and she would just keep on behaving the same way as she was until someone said rubbish to her and she came to. Or someone said: "BOO!" She would promise herself that she was not going to become one of those ladies who spend half their lives saying they would give up when it suited them and when it suited them was when they were nearly dead on their feet. Then they would say that this was the best way to go. She would not become one of those sorts of ladies who could spend their whole lives consuming large numbers of cigarettes and alcohol, she would make sure that she was as pure as the driven snow. She would not thank you if you spat in her face but would behave as though it had been her intention that you should do so and that she had manufactured the whole affair. "Most People are Rubbish!" she would say to herself huffily as she puffed elegantly on a cigarette and congratulated herself with another swig of whisky from the bottle which was marked with a label that said whisky but which contained only water.
It was through drinking that Biscuits would arrive at her most profound thoughts and these were often things to do with how difficult it is ever for a child to understand the things that grown ups do and that there are things that a child must go through to become a grown up but these things are not particularly especial and happen to us all in anycase somehow so that the world thinks that it is special in some way while you yourself do not.
This was a peculiarly drunken thought, it has to be said, but however you look at life, life has a way of being drunk with you and tasting crap and horrid when you start off but somehow being alright later on if you can learn to somehow live with it. If anyone had told her that her life would be so childish and practically useless when she had grown up then she should have despaired. She could only do as could anybody, what (hiccup) it (hiccup) was gods intention for her to do. So she found purpose and if it was not too (hiccup) profound for her readers at this point she might just go to bed or she might start another even larger bottle of fizzy cider which she had just found in the cupboard under the sink and which might not be cider at all.
Who would have thought this should have been left here all this time and that no one should have noticed it?
Although it was quaint of Biscuits to affect the mannerisms of an alcoholic it was something which extended way beyond the realms of being merely a bad joke. Biscuits had the whole routine down like a finely balanced act. Although many people talked about Old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house for sometimes the whole afternoon, no one would ever talk about Biscuits and some would say it was her lack of profile within the community on account of her being so small which had driven her to establishing this routine in the first place.
Although many would glance the way of old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house until many hours after they had finished drinking, there would not be any who would spare a scrap of conversation with him anything much of the time of day. Biscuits would wrap herself in old lettuce leafs to annoy the old codger and would dodge about in angry swerving motions to avoid his constant verbal abuse while at the same time provoking it. He was not the first drunk in the world and he should very probably not be the last but if there was hope for drunks the world over that one could send to them en masse, it should be that they might have a friend like Biscuits. Biscuits made being drunk look very easy. She would do all sorts of things to make Old Jack`s life a misery. You hardly had to be drunk at all with Biscuits about for if she became a little drunk at all, by drinking too much water or sometimes fizzy pop, if she became drunk at all, then she could catch you off guard with one of her drunken phrases like. "You know who you is you are you know." Which was always true no matter who you were. She would become all slurry and stupid after that. So no one would pretend that they had heard her when she said such stupid things. Things which were true anyway and did not really even need to be said.
They could not believe sometimes the rubbish that she would come out with when she would say things like: "There is more out than is in. More out than in you know." Until it became a mantra, I don`t think that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that you were not going to forget what she has said until late into the middle of the nigh. So that you would not forget her when you went home and tried to sleep easy in the night. You would hear the words: "There is more out than is in." repeated over and over. I don't think there is anything which she said which made sense most of the time anyway and there were few but Gerlinky who would trouble themselves to talk when she was sober. But when Biscuits was drunk she was terrible. There is nothing worse than a child of six or seven who is completely drunk and few would know as few have ever encountered a drunken biscuit.
There are eleven or twelve rules which should be observed if life is to be lived t its simples and this would be one of them. NEVER GIVE ALCOLHOL TO CHILDREN.
Although children will thank you they will not be grateful as a professional drinker like Old Jack would be grateful and who would still be pulling faces at you at three o`clock in the afternoon.
Biscuits hadn't wanted to become such an addict to the demon drink but since she had decided not to be tee-total she had some rum old times with Jack. Since discovering that she was an alcoholic Biscuits missed no social event that ever took place in the village in order that she might reach the heights of alcoholic giddiness she had so long desired to arrive at. She would now progress with thanks to the Vicar`s wifes` supply, who had carelessly left a bottle of home made lemon fizz under one of the tables at the village fete. Biscuits would now hold her nose with two fingers as she would down this lethal brew as if it were some godly nectar and not the urine of some farm animal, which it may as well have been. Biscuits did not like to make a show of her drinking and smoking really, though she nearly always would end up swaggering about puffing furiously at one of those sweet cigarettes which adults buy for children to get them through their teens so they are bound to take up smoking for real. Child junkies are (like Biscuits,) so often the victims of their own making and in need of a little love when there isn`t any. Biscuits didn't see the wonder in it all or question why it was that she saw these things the way that she did when she had drunk too much water or whatever she was on. She was by then too drunk to notice. But she knew that she was bound to end up in a huddled heap somewhere under a table with her head spinning if she did not watch her drinking. She knew if it didn`t get any better when her head wasn`t spinning and she just sat down and looked at the sky and it all seemed to go round and round and round and it wasn`t the clouds which were going in circles but her head so then she must have been drunk.
Biscuits didn`t know if she was drunk and she would just keep on behaving the same way as she was until someone said rubbish to her and she came to. Or someone said: "BOO!" She would promise herself that she was not going to become one of those ladies who spend half their lives saying they would give up when it suited them and when it suited them was when they were nearly dead on their feet. Then they would say that this was the best way to go. She would not become one of those sorts of ladies who could spend their whole lives consuming large numbers of cigarettes and alcohol, she would make sure that she was as pure as the driven snow. She would not thank you if you spat in her face but would behave as though it had been her intention that you should do so and that she had manufactured the whole affair. "Most People are Rubbish!" she would say to herself huffily as she puffed elegantly on a cigarette and congratulated herself with another swig of whisky from the bottle which was marked with a label that said whisky but which contained only water.
It was through drinking that Biscuits would arrive at her most profound thoughts and these were often things to do with how difficult it is ever for a child to understand the things that grown ups do and that there are things that a child must go through to become a grown up but these things are not particularly especial and happen to us all in anycase somehow so that the world thinks that it is special in some way while you yourself do not.
This was a peculiarly drunken thought, it has to be said, but however you look at life, life has a way of being drunk with you and tasting crap and horrid when you start off but somehow being alright later on if you can learn to somehow live with it. If anyone had told her that her life would be so childish and practically useless when she had grown up then she should have despaired. She could only do as could anybody, what (hiccup) it (hiccup) was gods intention for her to do. So she found purpose and if it was not too (hiccup) profound for her readers at this point she might just go to bed or she might start another even larger bottle of fizzy cider which she had just found in the cupboard under the sink and which might not be cider at all.
Who would have thought this should have been left here all this time and that no one should have noticed it?
Intuition
There would be days always when Bobbin was at school when Biscuits would despair of the world if the sun were not always shining and her mummy were cross.
She could sometimes feel that her life was a huge error that had been scribbled into the margins of what should have been a perfect life and she asked her own personal god whom she would carry around with her wherever she went that she might be forgiven for being born. Her god was always happy to help her because she knew that all of us at all times live on the edge of despair. That we should be glad sometimes of knowing that there is a life which exists besides our own forever, and although we are alone in this life we are never alone for long, as Gerlinky discovered when Biscuits tied its legs together with string (with bells on) as she slept.
When we are alone (mused Biscuits,) we are completely alone and may as well just vanish forever. When we are in the company of others our love is magnified to the whole world so that the whole world knows if we are happy. In this life it is terrible sometimes to know that it is impossible not to know a person, whom you have known and also that it is impossible to completely know your partner if you have one. If Biscuits had attended school more often she may have been a much wiser Biscuit than she was already. If this was the case then it was possible that she could take advice from the previous ill informed and intuitive Biscuits so that she could know where she was intuitively and not from all the things that she had been taught and all the things she thought that she needed to know. Her former Biscuity self really knew what was good for her most of the time and this would be to live in her mummy`s house and to know that the Fuzzer lived just around the corner and she could go there and annoy him at any time.
Biscuits did not mean to annoy Fuzzy but she could not help herself when she did. She would sometimes leave Fuzzy alone because he did not like being annoyed. She felt that if she left the village one day and she never saw Fuzzy ever it would make her cry but she knew that they were friends now and that they could not be friends always and life could only be as cruel as it could be kind.
She could sometimes feel that her life was a huge error that had been scribbled into the margins of what should have been a perfect life and she asked her own personal god whom she would carry around with her wherever she went that she might be forgiven for being born. Her god was always happy to help her because she knew that all of us at all times live on the edge of despair. That we should be glad sometimes of knowing that there is a life which exists besides our own forever, and although we are alone in this life we are never alone for long, as Gerlinky discovered when Biscuits tied its legs together with string (with bells on) as she slept.
When we are alone (mused Biscuits,) we are completely alone and may as well just vanish forever. When we are in the company of others our love is magnified to the whole world so that the whole world knows if we are happy. In this life it is terrible sometimes to know that it is impossible not to know a person, whom you have known and also that it is impossible to completely know your partner if you have one. If Biscuits had attended school more often she may have been a much wiser Biscuit than she was already. If this was the case then it was possible that she could take advice from the previous ill informed and intuitive Biscuits so that she could know where she was intuitively and not from all the things that she had been taught and all the things she thought that she needed to know. Her former Biscuity self really knew what was good for her most of the time and this would be to live in her mummy`s house and to know that the Fuzzer lived just around the corner and she could go there and annoy him at any time.
Biscuits did not mean to annoy Fuzzy but she could not help herself when she did. She would sometimes leave Fuzzy alone because he did not like being annoyed. She felt that if she left the village one day and she never saw Fuzzy ever it would make her cry but she knew that they were friends now and that they could not be friends always and life could only be as cruel as it could be kind.
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Bobbin
Biscuits had a good friend called Bobbin. Bobbin was very brainy like a boffin and Bobbin liked to go to school and impress everyone with the things she pretended to
Biscuits were important. But Bobbin liked going to school and she would not really mind if Biscuits did not go with her. Bobbin was Biscuits imaginary friend. Really Bobbin was her imaginary twin. They were like sisters even though no one could see Bobbin. But not everyone knew about Bobbin like they would if she was a real sister so Bobbin was Biscuits friend. Biscuits liked having Bobbin for a friend because besides going to school instead of Biscuits and answering all the questions which Biscuits would never be able to answer, Bobbin was Biscuits only proper friend, besides Gerlinky the cat who never talked to her now anyway and Fuzzy who was always hiding and was too special to be just a friend as he was magic. Oh! and there was Sammy who was her pet rabbit and so was her pet and not her friend.
Bobbin was really brainy, which was really good because it meant that Biscuits could be really stupid all of the time. Biscuits liked being silly though she didn`t like it when people said she was being silly because she knew herself when she was being silly and when she was not being silly. Only she knew if you were wrong. You were never forgiven and she would behave in just the same manner even more. Just to provoke. Which was her way.
Biscuits were important. But Bobbin liked going to school and she would not really mind if Biscuits did not go with her. Bobbin was Biscuits imaginary friend. Really Bobbin was her imaginary twin. They were like sisters even though no one could see Bobbin. But not everyone knew about Bobbin like they would if she was a real sister so Bobbin was Biscuits friend. Biscuits liked having Bobbin for a friend because besides going to school instead of Biscuits and answering all the questions which Biscuits would never be able to answer, Bobbin was Biscuits only proper friend, besides Gerlinky the cat who never talked to her now anyway and Fuzzy who was always hiding and was too special to be just a friend as he was magic. Oh! and there was Sammy who was her pet rabbit and so was her pet and not her friend.
Bobbin was really brainy, which was really good because it meant that Biscuits could be really stupid all of the time. Biscuits liked being silly though she didn`t like it when people said she was being silly because she knew herself when she was being silly and when she was not being silly. Only she knew if you were wrong. You were never forgiven and she would behave in just the same manner even more. Just to provoke. Which was her way.
Not much to do
It is true that in the Dingly Dell sometimes there is not much to do. Thankfully the residents of this place were very good at amusing themselves. It was by amusing herself that Bisky the biscuit had come to be known as a naughty person, for her idea of fun was usually her mother`s idea of misery. To watch an idea as to what might constitute fun enter Bisky`s tiny mind, to see it gather speed and be hastened into motion was what fascinated most of the folk who were fortunate (or unfortunate,) enough to know Biscuits. To encounter her scheming plans or fall foul of a badly carried out manoeuvre which always bore the hallmark of Biscuit which she gave to each misdeed. Most people said that these uncharities would be her undoing, though this was not going to be the case, for it was these jolly escapades and through them
her realising her true nature, which meant that she would survive this life unspoilt by a morality which ruled the lives of so many naughty children.
Biscuits did not go to school very often. The Birds in the trees and the geese which flew overhead in August did not go to school and Fuzzy did not go to school so neither would she.
her realising her true nature, which meant that she would survive this life unspoilt by a morality which ruled the lives of so many naughty children.
Biscuits did not go to school very often. The Birds in the trees and the geese which flew overhead in August did not go to school and Fuzzy did not go to school so neither would she.
Friday, 18 October 2013
Fuzzy`s Boat (again)
This was an episode to remember. Fuzzy had made a little house out of wood and bits of string and things which he had found in his father`s garage and on New Year`s day when all was quiet and before the world had surfaced after its drunken revelling. Fuzzy had decided to take the boat he had made down to the lakes to give it a first sail.
Just in case there was any wind, the wind of which Fuzzy dreamt, however was fast asleep also, as is often the case, for when the spirits of the animals sleep so often too does the wind. As the wind stirs the animals into action and to change, wrecking governments and bringing down the walls made of stone: built to divide nations ... so too does it blow the boats of small children across ponds, puddle and lakes when it chooses to. The wind on this brand new year was peculiarly dormant however.
Fuzzy almost wished that he had told Biscuits of his endeavours so that he might have her there to act as the wind might act and to blow a small boys boat across a huge expanse of the sea, such as the lake would have seemed to a small boat if there were people on it. Fuzzy used to imagine there were. Fuzzy was not able to tell biscuits what his intentions were on that day however, in case the glue which he had used to make the boat had decided not to stick the wood together and the whole thing fell apart. As was so often the case with Fuzzy`s projects.
Biscuits would say, "Oh Fuzzy!" and Fuzzy would feel particularly stupid and awful and tell himself that it did not matter if he couldn't build boats properly and that there was a way to make his boats go across the water and not come apart and go soggy, so that he need not feel as tiny as the tiny men that he would imagine were on his tiny boat.
So what does a small boy do on a New years day when all is so calm and peacefull and seemingly endlessly quiet? Well Fuzzy had the idea, which no man can vouch for as all were asleep on this particularly special morning but you or I could believe if we knew
Fuzzy at all, that El Fuzzer , (the rabbits and the squirrels and the ants and all of nature used to call him,) El Fuzzer was going to talk to the trees. And this is what Fuzzy did.
Without taking his pen knife out of his pocket he went over to the head of the largest set of poplars he could find which stood by the lakes and determined that this tree would be made his friend and that if he asked nicely the tree might ask the wind to blow the boat to make it sail across the water. So what happened next?
We may ask. Were the wind to blow it would be a miracle and were the wind not to blow it would be a disaster but the Fuzzer was not to be disappointed or outsmarted by a tree which was only a plant after all. Be it older or taller than he. So Fuzzy talked kindly to the tree and he talked kindly to it for hours until he fell asleep and a large snoring came from the little fellow. At this point along came a Biscuity girl named Biscuits who was not looking for Fuzzy or misadventure and she saw his little boat all stranded in the middle of the lake and a little tear fell of her cheek as she felt for Fuzzy and the little things he set out in life to achieve. As the tears fell into the lake the lake transformed into a silvery sheet of ice and the boat vanished under it as everything, everywhere went cold and white. Fuzzy himself seemed to turn into a frozen statue
all curled up as he lay at the lay at the root of the tallest tree and he became as though he were a soul or a ghost, or as if his spirit had left him and had gone into the tree and off into the wind, which was very peculiar. Biscuits sensed it and she ran as fast as she could to a nearby farm where she told the farmer, who came to get Fuzzy and put him into bed in the spare room which had belonged to his children when they had been home. The wind blew for forty days for which time Fuzzy was asleep.
When Fuzzy woke he went back to the lake to look for his boat but there was nothing to be seen of it any longer and so he wondered if it had sailed to somewhere else in the clouds because he could not find it in the lakes anywhere.
Just in case there was any wind, the wind of which Fuzzy dreamt, however was fast asleep also, as is often the case, for when the spirits of the animals sleep so often too does the wind. As the wind stirs the animals into action and to change, wrecking governments and bringing down the walls made of stone: built to divide nations ... so too does it blow the boats of small children across ponds, puddle and lakes when it chooses to. The wind on this brand new year was peculiarly dormant however.
Fuzzy almost wished that he had told Biscuits of his endeavours so that he might have her there to act as the wind might act and to blow a small boys boat across a huge expanse of the sea, such as the lake would have seemed to a small boat if there were people on it. Fuzzy used to imagine there were. Fuzzy was not able to tell biscuits what his intentions were on that day however, in case the glue which he had used to make the boat had decided not to stick the wood together and the whole thing fell apart. As was so often the case with Fuzzy`s projects.
Biscuits would say, "Oh Fuzzy!" and Fuzzy would feel particularly stupid and awful and tell himself that it did not matter if he couldn't build boats properly and that there was a way to make his boats go across the water and not come apart and go soggy, so that he need not feel as tiny as the tiny men that he would imagine were on his tiny boat.
So what does a small boy do on a New years day when all is so calm and peacefull and seemingly endlessly quiet? Well Fuzzy had the idea, which no man can vouch for as all were asleep on this particularly special morning but you or I could believe if we knew
Fuzzy at all, that El Fuzzer , (the rabbits and the squirrels and the ants and all of nature used to call him,) El Fuzzer was going to talk to the trees. And this is what Fuzzy did.
Without taking his pen knife out of his pocket he went over to the head of the largest set of poplars he could find which stood by the lakes and determined that this tree would be made his friend and that if he asked nicely the tree might ask the wind to blow the boat to make it sail across the water. So what happened next?
We may ask. Were the wind to blow it would be a miracle and were the wind not to blow it would be a disaster but the Fuzzer was not to be disappointed or outsmarted by a tree which was only a plant after all. Be it older or taller than he. So Fuzzy talked kindly to the tree and he talked kindly to it for hours until he fell asleep and a large snoring came from the little fellow. At this point along came a Biscuity girl named Biscuits who was not looking for Fuzzy or misadventure and she saw his little boat all stranded in the middle of the lake and a little tear fell of her cheek as she felt for Fuzzy and the little things he set out in life to achieve. As the tears fell into the lake the lake transformed into a silvery sheet of ice and the boat vanished under it as everything, everywhere went cold and white. Fuzzy himself seemed to turn into a frozen statue
all curled up as he lay at the lay at the root of the tallest tree and he became as though he were a soul or a ghost, or as if his spirit had left him and had gone into the tree and off into the wind, which was very peculiar. Biscuits sensed it and she ran as fast as she could to a nearby farm where she told the farmer, who came to get Fuzzy and put him into bed in the spare room which had belonged to his children when they had been home. The wind blew for forty days for which time Fuzzy was asleep.
When Fuzzy woke he went back to the lake to look for his boat but there was nothing to be seen of it any longer and so he wondered if it had sailed to somewhere else in the clouds because he could not find it in the lakes anywhere.
Thursday, 17 October 2013
Why Biscuits was happy.
One of the finest gifts that was Biscuits was that she could know what it was that made her happy when she was unhappy. And although she did not know exactly what it was that made her happy she somehow knew instinctively what it was she should do if she was bored of if she felt her unhappiness coming about. Biscuits knew that it was not riches or in face biscuits that made a person happy but that it was a sense of harmony within the soul which told you if you were heading in the right sort of direction. It was something to do with your dreams and your family and the place you were at, at the time and your goals, if you had any, for although people often talked of their goals and of the things they would most like to achieve with their life, most people rarely ever would achieve any of these things if you met them years later.
Although Biscuits was very young she somehow had it in her to know all of this anyway, as though the wisdom of an old woman was collected in to her and disguised in her flowery little dress which had been sewn up out of an old curtain by her Mummy so that although she might have looked particularly stupid most of the time she was actually quite clever.
Biscuits did not know what it was to be rich although she knew that it was rich to be alive, certainly. She did not know how the world worked in its entirety and nor did she ever want to know. She knew that she would be a wise old fool one day if she did no look out! And that each day was as unexpected as the one it had seen go before it.
I think her real happiness and joy sprang from the happy position she found herself in of living miles away from the nearest inkling of a city and of being fortunate enough never to have heard much that goes on in the world that is painful and horrid. Also that she had a friend who was a little boy who lived in the house just across the road whose name was Fuzzy. Biscuits had funny ideas about Fuzzy it was true, as true as it was that she had funny ideas about herself. But when she came to thinking her ideas were strange she knew she must be wrong because often she was. Biscuits would try to amuse herself.
Although Biscuits was very young she somehow had it in her to know all of this anyway, as though the wisdom of an old woman was collected in to her and disguised in her flowery little dress which had been sewn up out of an old curtain by her Mummy so that although she might have looked particularly stupid most of the time she was actually quite clever.
Biscuits did not know what it was to be rich although she knew that it was rich to be alive, certainly. She did not know how the world worked in its entirety and nor did she ever want to know. She knew that she would be a wise old fool one day if she did no look out! And that each day was as unexpected as the one it had seen go before it.
I think her real happiness and joy sprang from the happy position she found herself in of living miles away from the nearest inkling of a city and of being fortunate enough never to have heard much that goes on in the world that is painful and horrid. Also that she had a friend who was a little boy who lived in the house just across the road whose name was Fuzzy. Biscuits had funny ideas about Fuzzy it was true, as true as it was that she had funny ideas about herself. But when she came to thinking her ideas were strange she knew she must be wrong because often she was. Biscuits would try to amuse herself.
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Biscuit`s Mummy
Biscuits mummy was not always happy as it was tough bringing up Biscuits on her own and she didn`t always have enough money, although everyone in the village liked Biscuits Mummy. She had borrowed money from the bank over the years because she thought that was where you got money from if you hadn`t any of your own. and she kept going there to get some whenever she needed some. Although she tried to save money when she did have some, so that she could give it back to the bank she never seemed to have as much as she needed so she would receive nasty letters from the bank all the time and she never understood why they always sent them when they knew she did not have any money in the first place. She would never have the money to give to the bank so that she would not owe them anything and sometimes when she sent Biscuits to the shop over the railway line to fetch a large packet of Daz so that she could wash her clothes, she would cry a bit because she didn`t think she would ever have any money and it bothered her a lot.
It bothered her even more when she didn`t receive any nice letters from friends she had in other parts of the country and she hated herself for being poor but she never let Biscuits see her crying and she never told her about the money she owed to the bank.
Biscuit`s mummy was the nicest mummy in the world and she was born in June. Biscuit`s knew that this was good because she was not naughty like Biscuits was but she was practical and she was as good for the village as she was for Biscuits or herself. She would never say a harsh word against anyone as Biscuits sometimes did.
If it was a frog or a stone that she was addressing or silly old Gerlinky who still hadn`t spoken to her in these past three weeks. Biscuits Mummy was careful with her money when she had some but she was not ungenerous. She liked to cook for people and she did her best always to make sure that her house was full of people whose company you could enjoy even if you were the Fuzzer who liked to spend most of his time on his own. He would often come to Biscuit`s mummy`s house if she was holding a gathering and she had left the lights on. Fuzzy would be drawn like a moth to a flame.
Fuzzy would press his thick pebbly glasses to the panes of the window so that his thick and sandy hair would press against the glass and leave a mark like the waves of the sea. Biscuit`s mummy use to hold a chocolate Biscuits up against the glass so that Fuzzy would be only a fraction of a hand's breadth from his purpose in life and he would have to leave the window to step down to the ground and to scamper around to the front of the house and then back to be greeted by Biscuits with a whole packet of chocolate Biscuits. These were Fuzzy`s favourites. Most of these she would scoff in front of him if she hadn`t scoffed them already because she was always scoffing biscuits. This was how she had got her name. Fuzzy would get upset because he thought there wouldn`t be any left though there would always be one at the bottom of the packet which Biscuits would somehow miss. This is a measure of how naughty Biscuits sometimes was.
One of the things Biscuits liked most about herself was where she lived. She liked living with her mummy and she liked living close to Fuzzy`s house which was only just around the corner from where Biscuit`s mummy lived. Biscuits liked the postman who brought the post in the morning and she like the trees and the birds that sang in them and the way the wind reached down the hill and stole into the back of their house making it very cold in winter but cool in summer.
She didn`t have much to look forward to here but nor did she have much to regret. Although it would have suited her to know more about the world and explore gigantic museums which there were in all the major cities of the world and which held all the treasures which you learnt about in school, if you went to school, or that you read about in the encyclopedia if you did not. The truth about Biscuits (if there was anything to know,) was that she had no need of seeing all there was to see in the world or to now all that there was to know. Sometimes she thought that she needed to know everything and that she should travel to every distant part of the globe but she thought that really she need not know anything more than she already knew. Which to some people would be quite a lot, (though to others much less.)
Biscuits was a mystery sometimes, (if she needed to be,) She knew the sounds of all the birds which flew past this way in autumn because Fuzzy had taught her and she had come up with a list of names of all the geese which flew directly over her house. She could whistle one down and clonk it on the head with a a pan if she needed to eat something for her supper. She rarely if ever would do this because she had given them all names and because her mummy always made her something to eat for her supper anyway. If she was not too busy seeing to the accounts which she kept for Mr Jones or cleaning the house which seemed to take most of her life from her.
Theirs was not an adventurous life, though adventures did happen. The place they had chosen to live was a peaceful one. They had not really chosen to live there, in any case they had been chosen by the large wooden bungalows on stilts which could pass for a design from America but which did not look out of place in this valley.
It bothered her even more when she didn`t receive any nice letters from friends she had in other parts of the country and she hated herself for being poor but she never let Biscuits see her crying and she never told her about the money she owed to the bank.
Biscuit`s mummy was the nicest mummy in the world and she was born in June. Biscuit`s knew that this was good because she was not naughty like Biscuits was but she was practical and she was as good for the village as she was for Biscuits or herself. She would never say a harsh word against anyone as Biscuits sometimes did.
If it was a frog or a stone that she was addressing or silly old Gerlinky who still hadn`t spoken to her in these past three weeks. Biscuits Mummy was careful with her money when she had some but she was not ungenerous. She liked to cook for people and she did her best always to make sure that her house was full of people whose company you could enjoy even if you were the Fuzzer who liked to spend most of his time on his own. He would often come to Biscuit`s mummy`s house if she was holding a gathering and she had left the lights on. Fuzzy would be drawn like a moth to a flame.
Fuzzy would press his thick pebbly glasses to the panes of the window so that his thick and sandy hair would press against the glass and leave a mark like the waves of the sea. Biscuit`s mummy use to hold a chocolate Biscuits up against the glass so that Fuzzy would be only a fraction of a hand's breadth from his purpose in life and he would have to leave the window to step down to the ground and to scamper around to the front of the house and then back to be greeted by Biscuits with a whole packet of chocolate Biscuits. These were Fuzzy`s favourites. Most of these she would scoff in front of him if she hadn`t scoffed them already because she was always scoffing biscuits. This was how she had got her name. Fuzzy would get upset because he thought there wouldn`t be any left though there would always be one at the bottom of the packet which Biscuits would somehow miss. This is a measure of how naughty Biscuits sometimes was.
One of the things Biscuits liked most about herself was where she lived. She liked living with her mummy and she liked living close to Fuzzy`s house which was only just around the corner from where Biscuit`s mummy lived. Biscuits liked the postman who brought the post in the morning and she like the trees and the birds that sang in them and the way the wind reached down the hill and stole into the back of their house making it very cold in winter but cool in summer.
She didn`t have much to look forward to here but nor did she have much to regret. Although it would have suited her to know more about the world and explore gigantic museums which there were in all the major cities of the world and which held all the treasures which you learnt about in school, if you went to school, or that you read about in the encyclopedia if you did not. The truth about Biscuits (if there was anything to know,) was that she had no need of seeing all there was to see in the world or to now all that there was to know. Sometimes she thought that she needed to know everything and that she should travel to every distant part of the globe but she thought that really she need not know anything more than she already knew. Which to some people would be quite a lot, (though to others much less.)
Biscuits was a mystery sometimes, (if she needed to be,) She knew the sounds of all the birds which flew past this way in autumn because Fuzzy had taught her and she had come up with a list of names of all the geese which flew directly over her house. She could whistle one down and clonk it on the head with a a pan if she needed to eat something for her supper. She rarely if ever would do this because she had given them all names and because her mummy always made her something to eat for her supper anyway. If she was not too busy seeing to the accounts which she kept for Mr Jones or cleaning the house which seemed to take most of her life from her.
Theirs was not an adventurous life, though adventures did happen. The place they had chosen to live was a peaceful one. They had not really chosen to live there, in any case they had been chosen by the large wooden bungalows on stilts which could pass for a design from America but which did not look out of place in this valley.
Was Biscuits Mad?
Biscuits was not mad but she did not make much sense to most people a lot of the time. Maybe it was because of her extra powers of imagination which freed her from her physical disability and constantly feeling sorry for herself. Most people would think this only natural if she were a writer or an artist, or a poet (which she told herself she would on day become,) and not just crumbly rotten biscuit. For such a young girl to show such gifts as being able to whistle "Three blind mice," while standing on her head positively annoyed some people and she was thought of as precocious. She would have enjoyed being called such a long word, would Biscuits, though she would never have guessed what it meant.
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
Gerlinky the cat
The tale of Gerlinky the cat is a strange one for he was maybe a she and she was half black and half white. Only Biscuits knew if Gerlinky was a boy or a girl. She knew it was qulasite useless becoming worked up over the nature of such a worthless thing as Gerlinky but Biscuits always thought of the cat as her friend, except for the time when she had tied its paws together with glue and string and Gerlinky had refused to be her friend because Gerlinky knew only too well who was likely to do such a thing and that only Biscuits would.
Although Gerlinky was an unremarkable looking thing the cat had a charm which few would ever recognize and this was mostly in its ability to disappear when it was most in demand or to raise an eyebrow instead of an ear when its name was called. The cat made sure that it was never made fun of by the children of the village even though it was childish itself. There could be fewo or none but Biscuits who would be its best friend and its worst enemy at the same time.
Gerlinky the cat had come a long way to arrive in this village and although it had only been a young cat when it had arrived (it had been so sprightly and gay most of the time.) Gerlinky was a cat with an immense wisdom which most of the time went toward making sure that its day was not wasted, as that of most cats tended to be wased with the trivial things that can fill up so many days. It would make sure that the day had some direction. To achieve this the cat would draw up a list of things each morning which it would set out to resolve. Sometimes these tasks would be quite daunting. For instance: the cat would ask itself whether it would be possible to canter about the feet of the milkman when he was delivering milk in the morning so as to offset his balance and to throw him into a pool of milk and splintered glass at the feet of whoevers house it was that he was delivering milk to at the time and at the same time to appear to be several streets away so that he could hear the bottle smashing and remark with a loud mieaow that the neighbourhood was becoming a dangerous place to live in with so many bottle being broken and so much glass left lying about.
Where the cat was from was not certain as none of the cats which were said to be of the same family as Gerlinky, which lived in the neighbouring town could really be said to look anything like Gerlinky at all. It would not surprise most of the village if you were to tell them that this cat was from Mars, for this was how the cat behaved. It was different from other cats and it was for this reason that it had made friends with the postman and had stolen its way into his heart and purse and ad the same time made a friend of Biscuits.
The incident with the string and glue was a pity really as Gerlinky never again trusted Biscuits enough to go to sleep in his favourite patch which was in the potatoe bed at the bottom of the garden. Here Biscuits and Gerlinky would have had most of their best conversations and Biscuits would miss exchanging growls as he or she would be falling asleep athough it is often only between the best of friends that such ruel and cunning stunts may be concocted and so perhaps Gerlinky knew that Biscuits was a good friend really even if she was hated most of the time.
In some ways Biscuits and Gerlinky did have a lot to share with eachother even if they were mostly unknown to eachother. The were both individuals by nature and they would both demonstrate a cunning and intelligence way beyond their years every now and then. Although it was hard to see these bursts of intellectual display in any solid achievement it would be possible for the enlightened observer, such as Fuzzy or the Heron which would visit the pond at the front of the postman`s patch of land at different times of the year, to realise that intelligent they both were and that either one of them might be capable of getting away with murder if murder were their intent. I don`t think either of them were really capable of being evil though, just naughty more often than nice.
Although Gerlinky was an unremarkable looking thing the cat had a charm which few would ever recognize and this was mostly in its ability to disappear when it was most in demand or to raise an eyebrow instead of an ear when its name was called. The cat made sure that it was never made fun of by the children of the village even though it was childish itself. There could be fewo or none but Biscuits who would be its best friend and its worst enemy at the same time.
Gerlinky the cat had come a long way to arrive in this village and although it had only been a young cat when it had arrived (it had been so sprightly and gay most of the time.) Gerlinky was a cat with an immense wisdom which most of the time went toward making sure that its day was not wasted, as that of most cats tended to be wased with the trivial things that can fill up so many days. It would make sure that the day had some direction. To achieve this the cat would draw up a list of things each morning which it would set out to resolve. Sometimes these tasks would be quite daunting. For instance: the cat would ask itself whether it would be possible to canter about the feet of the milkman when he was delivering milk in the morning so as to offset his balance and to throw him into a pool of milk and splintered glass at the feet of whoevers house it was that he was delivering milk to at the time and at the same time to appear to be several streets away so that he could hear the bottle smashing and remark with a loud mieaow that the neighbourhood was becoming a dangerous place to live in with so many bottle being broken and so much glass left lying about.
Where the cat was from was not certain as none of the cats which were said to be of the same family as Gerlinky, which lived in the neighbouring town could really be said to look anything like Gerlinky at all. It would not surprise most of the village if you were to tell them that this cat was from Mars, for this was how the cat behaved. It was different from other cats and it was for this reason that it had made friends with the postman and had stolen its way into his heart and purse and ad the same time made a friend of Biscuits.
The incident with the string and glue was a pity really as Gerlinky never again trusted Biscuits enough to go to sleep in his favourite patch which was in the potatoe bed at the bottom of the garden. Here Biscuits and Gerlinky would have had most of their best conversations and Biscuits would miss exchanging growls as he or she would be falling asleep athough it is often only between the best of friends that such ruel and cunning stunts may be concocted and so perhaps Gerlinky knew that Biscuits was a good friend really even if she was hated most of the time.
In some ways Biscuits and Gerlinky did have a lot to share with eachother even if they were mostly unknown to eachother. The were both individuals by nature and they would both demonstrate a cunning and intelligence way beyond their years every now and then. Although it was hard to see these bursts of intellectual display in any solid achievement it would be possible for the enlightened observer, such as Fuzzy or the Heron which would visit the pond at the front of the postman`s patch of land at different times of the year, to realise that intelligent they both were and that either one of them might be capable of getting away with murder if murder were their intent. I don`t think either of them were really capable of being evil though, just naughty more often than nice.
Monday, 14 October 2013
Fuzzy`s Boat
On a summery day when all the plants and trees were singing with a happy kind of shimmery green which is like yellow and which come with the spring... when the sunshine seemed to be not like that of mid-summer but brighter and clearer and you still felt a frost in a shadow... Fuzzy decided that he would go across the river in a boat that he would construct himself.
Fuzzy`s father had an old garage which leant against the side of the house and which was like a treasure chest to Fuzzy. Fuzzy`s father didn`t have a car but he had lots of old things which he had collected. Fuzzy liked to go there when he wanted to make a go kart or a wheelbarrow for his gardening or eve to make a boat. Most of the things which Fuzzy`s father had collected were for engines and motorcars and would sink if you put the in the river. So Fuzzy knew that they would be no good to him. Instead he would go to the wood and ask his friends the trees if they would shed some bark for him to use so that he could make a boat.
Fuzzy took from his father`s garage some string and some glue and some bits of rubber in case he whould need them. When he got to the wood he found a little path which was flat enough for him to leave his things on and then he went to talk to some trees.
But when Fuzzy talked to the trees they were not listening to him and he decided that he could not wait forever to make his boat and so he thought he could reach up with his pen knife to a place where the bark was beginning to peel and ee if he could tear off or cut a bit or something so the he could make his boat.
Now Fuzzy was not actually mad but when he went to cut the trees he heard the tree
saying: "Don`t do that, you will hurt me!" So he thought: "Perhaps there is another way to do this," He put his knife back in his pocket and left the tree standing as it was and went back to the place where he had left all his things.
At this point in the story something very peculiar happened. Fuzzy had not been expecting such a thing to happen, but when he returned to the place where he had left his glue and string, the bits of rubber on the piece of ground so that he could find them had completely disappeared! Where had they gone? These little treasures of little worth which Fuzzy had so diligently chosen from the depths of his Father`s garage? There must have been some cunning prankster at work here, thought the Fuzzer. When he became angry he became very efficient and organized and not dreamy as was his natural self and one had to be cautious to a degree not normally appropriate for dealing with him as he was no longer fuzzy but THE FUZZER.
The Fuzzer was an heroic fellow of epic proportions who might otherwise have been half the man he was. He`d wonder when he became so mighty but when he became angry he became hard to please and when this happened everyone who cared to know him would call him THE FUZZER.
Now, Fuzzy was not a man known to get angry at all, ever. But he knew when he had been crossed and he would not let such a thing lie. If something had bothered him then he would move in mysterious ways so that he would not let it destroy him. Sometimes he went to Paris in his imagination to visit the Eiffel Tower, which he had seen on a postcard once. This had been sent to him by his aunt. He would jump off the tower and fly miles and miles over buildings forever and sometimes his magic dreaming wings would not hold him up and he would plummet and destroy himself but he would not do that now. Fuzzy gathered himself together and moved like a kitten being blown in a light breeze around the patch of ground where he thought he had left his bits of string and glue for making his boat.
At first he could not decide what had happened to them and he decided that he would not find them ever. Then later he stumbled through the long grass on the trail of Biscuits whom he knew would be nearby hiding and watching him as he made a fool of himself in his endless search. He knew that she had stolen them and he was very annoyed by now because he was not going to be able to build his boat.
Fuzzy fell over a number of times before he reached the house where Biscuits live with her mummy and he didn't know what to do when he met her mummy on the back porch of their old house, as he was SO CROSS. He said:"Hello, I have come to see Biscuits."
Mrs Biscuits nodded quietly as though to agree whi him and he looked down at his feet to see that his little sandals were all flakey and torn and he thought to himself: "She will not be here," so he left Mrs Biscuits standing in the doorway watchin him as he ran back into the long grass where he would look for Biscuits.
It had not occurred to The Fuzzer that there might be another person who might decide to join in with his games that day and that there might be a wicked jackdaw who might steal the bits of string. For surely this was what had happened...?....??
Fuzzy was not much of a guesser really and it was at this point of the day that he nearly decided to stop searching for Biscuits and his bits of glue and string and to pick some flowers instead. But being The Fuzzer meant that he was determined to find her and that he would persevere until he did. He would look and look until he had looked everywhere and when he found her he would tell everyone, everywhere what he thought of her foolish carrying on just to annoy him when he had wanted to make a boat. At that moment Fuzzy was interrupted by the rapid scurrying of a cat called Gerlinky who belonged to the postman but who would turn up in most people`s houses and all of the shops and some people`s motor vehicles, who sometimes talked to Biscuits but mostly kept himself to herself. (He was of indeterminate gender.) Gerlinky was not the biggest cat there had ever been in the village but on this day he had two small bells, like the ones that Fuzzy had seen on the window sill in Biscuit`s Mummy`s kitchen, tied with string and glue between its two hind legs. A screeching and a yowling sound it made, like you or I had not heard before or since because this was not a cat used to such disturbances. Though it was not a cat of many years it was old enough, not to appreciate the joke which some unfortunate and unpleasant mind had decided to play apon it this afternoon.
Gerlinky the cat (who was fond of a joke,) was never fond of Biscuits after that and Gerlinky would not talk to her for weeks afterwards although at one time they had been the best of friends.
Fuzzy`s father had an old garage which leant against the side of the house and which was like a treasure chest to Fuzzy. Fuzzy`s father didn`t have a car but he had lots of old things which he had collected. Fuzzy liked to go there when he wanted to make a go kart or a wheelbarrow for his gardening or eve to make a boat. Most of the things which Fuzzy`s father had collected were for engines and motorcars and would sink if you put the in the river. So Fuzzy knew that they would be no good to him. Instead he would go to the wood and ask his friends the trees if they would shed some bark for him to use so that he could make a boat.
Fuzzy took from his father`s garage some string and some glue and some bits of rubber in case he whould need them. When he got to the wood he found a little path which was flat enough for him to leave his things on and then he went to talk to some trees.
But when Fuzzy talked to the trees they were not listening to him and he decided that he could not wait forever to make his boat and so he thought he could reach up with his pen knife to a place where the bark was beginning to peel and ee if he could tear off or cut a bit or something so the he could make his boat.
Now Fuzzy was not actually mad but when he went to cut the trees he heard the tree
saying: "Don`t do that, you will hurt me!" So he thought: "Perhaps there is another way to do this," He put his knife back in his pocket and left the tree standing as it was and went back to the place where he had left all his things.
At this point in the story something very peculiar happened. Fuzzy had not been expecting such a thing to happen, but when he returned to the place where he had left his glue and string, the bits of rubber on the piece of ground so that he could find them had completely disappeared! Where had they gone? These little treasures of little worth which Fuzzy had so diligently chosen from the depths of his Father`s garage? There must have been some cunning prankster at work here, thought the Fuzzer. When he became angry he became very efficient and organized and not dreamy as was his natural self and one had to be cautious to a degree not normally appropriate for dealing with him as he was no longer fuzzy but THE FUZZER.
The Fuzzer was an heroic fellow of epic proportions who might otherwise have been half the man he was. He`d wonder when he became so mighty but when he became angry he became hard to please and when this happened everyone who cared to know him would call him THE FUZZER.
Now, Fuzzy was not a man known to get angry at all, ever. But he knew when he had been crossed and he would not let such a thing lie. If something had bothered him then he would move in mysterious ways so that he would not let it destroy him. Sometimes he went to Paris in his imagination to visit the Eiffel Tower, which he had seen on a postcard once. This had been sent to him by his aunt. He would jump off the tower and fly miles and miles over buildings forever and sometimes his magic dreaming wings would not hold him up and he would plummet and destroy himself but he would not do that now. Fuzzy gathered himself together and moved like a kitten being blown in a light breeze around the patch of ground where he thought he had left his bits of string and glue for making his boat.
At first he could not decide what had happened to them and he decided that he would not find them ever. Then later he stumbled through the long grass on the trail of Biscuits whom he knew would be nearby hiding and watching him as he made a fool of himself in his endless search. He knew that she had stolen them and he was very annoyed by now because he was not going to be able to build his boat.
Fuzzy fell over a number of times before he reached the house where Biscuits live with her mummy and he didn't know what to do when he met her mummy on the back porch of their old house, as he was SO CROSS. He said:"Hello, I have come to see Biscuits."
Mrs Biscuits nodded quietly as though to agree whi him and he looked down at his feet to see that his little sandals were all flakey and torn and he thought to himself: "She will not be here," so he left Mrs Biscuits standing in the doorway watchin him as he ran back into the long grass where he would look for Biscuits.
It had not occurred to The Fuzzer that there might be another person who might decide to join in with his games that day and that there might be a wicked jackdaw who might steal the bits of string. For surely this was what had happened...?....??
Fuzzy was not much of a guesser really and it was at this point of the day that he nearly decided to stop searching for Biscuits and his bits of glue and string and to pick some flowers instead. But being The Fuzzer meant that he was determined to find her and that he would persevere until he did. He would look and look until he had looked everywhere and when he found her he would tell everyone, everywhere what he thought of her foolish carrying on just to annoy him when he had wanted to make a boat. At that moment Fuzzy was interrupted by the rapid scurrying of a cat called Gerlinky who belonged to the postman but who would turn up in most people`s houses and all of the shops and some people`s motor vehicles, who sometimes talked to Biscuits but mostly kept himself to herself. (He was of indeterminate gender.) Gerlinky was not the biggest cat there had ever been in the village but on this day he had two small bells, like the ones that Fuzzy had seen on the window sill in Biscuit`s Mummy`s kitchen, tied with string and glue between its two hind legs. A screeching and a yowling sound it made, like you or I had not heard before or since because this was not a cat used to such disturbances. Though it was not a cat of many years it was old enough, not to appreciate the joke which some unfortunate and unpleasant mind had decided to play apon it this afternoon.
Gerlinky the cat (who was fond of a joke,) was never fond of Biscuits after that and Gerlinky would not talk to her for weeks afterwards although at one time they had been the best of friends.
Sunday, 13 October 2013
The telephone and mr dog
I recall the first time that the telephone rang in Biscuits house. Her mother had not wanted to have a telephone in the house because it upset her if she had to talk to somebody that was not there, it was for this reason that she had not wanted the thing in
the first place.
Biscuits had thought that the police were coming or that there was going to be a fire because of the noise it made. She ran and hid in her usual place which was a patch of bushes which held to the side of the house where they had been going to put the dog.
Biscuits mummy didn`t have a dog but she wanted to get one and she had told herself she was going to get one when Biscuits father had died. Biscuits had never known her father as he had died when she was very young, even younger than she was now.
Biscuits thought that he must have been a very kind man even though her mother did not keep a picture of him anywhere in the house. And she had always meant to get a dog. So, one day with the help of Jack the carpenter, Biscuits mummy had gone to the town over the hill to find a dog for herself and for Biscuits. He would keep them both company and act as a guard as well so that they would not always be lonely and be safe together in the house. Biscuits mummy had chosen a house for Mr.Dog to live in and they were going to choose Mr.Dog but biscuits mummy wasn't sure if she could manage to keep Mr.Dog if they brought him home with them so in the end she left Mr.dog in the market and Biscuits had cried all the way home.
Biscuits would go inside Mr.Dog`s house and pretend that she was Mr.Dog and then she would bark like Mr.Dog would have barked if only he had been there. But one day Fuzzy saw her going into the kennel and asked her what she was doing there and she had to pretend that she was looking for some pennies that she had dropped which she had seen roll into the house of Mr.Dog because she could not tell him how upset she had been about not having Mr.Dog and how much she missed him or that she would sometimes pretend to be Mr.Dog when no one was looking so that it was a bit like he was there after all.
The next time the telephone rang Mrs.Biscuits refused to pick up the receiver even though it was a week after the first time and Biscuits had to lift it up just to stop it ringing so loudly or else their neighbours might wonder what was happening and they might never be able to go to sleep. When Biscuits had picked it up she placed it promptly down again because that would stop it from ringing.
the first place.
Biscuits had thought that the police were coming or that there was going to be a fire because of the noise it made. She ran and hid in her usual place which was a patch of bushes which held to the side of the house where they had been going to put the dog.
Biscuits mummy didn`t have a dog but she wanted to get one and she had told herself she was going to get one when Biscuits father had died. Biscuits had never known her father as he had died when she was very young, even younger than she was now.
Biscuits thought that he must have been a very kind man even though her mother did not keep a picture of him anywhere in the house. And she had always meant to get a dog. So, one day with the help of Jack the carpenter, Biscuits mummy had gone to the town over the hill to find a dog for herself and for Biscuits. He would keep them both company and act as a guard as well so that they would not always be lonely and be safe together in the house. Biscuits mummy had chosen a house for Mr.Dog to live in and they were going to choose Mr.Dog but biscuits mummy wasn't sure if she could manage to keep Mr.Dog if they brought him home with them so in the end she left Mr.dog in the market and Biscuits had cried all the way home.
Biscuits would go inside Mr.Dog`s house and pretend that she was Mr.Dog and then she would bark like Mr.Dog would have barked if only he had been there. But one day Fuzzy saw her going into the kennel and asked her what she was doing there and she had to pretend that she was looking for some pennies that she had dropped which she had seen roll into the house of Mr.Dog because she could not tell him how upset she had been about not having Mr.Dog and how much she missed him or that she would sometimes pretend to be Mr.Dog when no one was looking so that it was a bit like he was there after all.
The next time the telephone rang Mrs.Biscuits refused to pick up the receiver even though it was a week after the first time and Biscuits had to lift it up just to stop it ringing so loudly or else their neighbours might wonder what was happening and they might never be able to go to sleep. When Biscuits had picked it up she placed it promptly down again because that would stop it from ringing.
Saturday, 12 October 2013
Sunday
Biscuits mummy was quite a nice mummy and she used to cook big meals for herself and Biscuits. She used to get quite cross if Biscuits didn`t finish all of her food because she did not like Biscuits to waste any of it as apparently there were children starving in Africa or something... Sometimes she cooked too much so that Biscuits could not eat all of it so sometimes Biscuits felt quite fat.
OnSunday while Biscuits mummy was cooking the biggest meal of the day she would send Biscuits out to the shop across the railway line at the place where the road forked up the hill. Biscuits used to like running errands for her mummy because she liked helping her. Because she was such a nice person and she used to get very tired and sad sometimes because she had no one to look after her, after Mr Biscuits died, except for Biscuits and her friend in the village. They would do things for her now and then when she needed things to be done but she just had to manage most of the time. And so Biscuits liked to help her when she could. On Sunday mornings, Biscuits mummy always used to ask Biscuits to go down to the shop over the railway line to ask the shopkeeper for some of the washing powder for their clothes and for a cake to scoff for their afters and for a packet of biscuits, which Biscuits would scoff on the way home because she was always scoffing things and she especially loved to scoff biscuits.
When they had both properly digested their lunch they would sit for a few hours in front of the fire and then Biscuits mummy would fall asleep. She wouldn`t even wake up when the little aeroplanes would go overhead which practiced in the sky.
Sometime Biscuits wanted to sneak off when her mummy fell asleep but she used to tell herself that her mummy would worry if she woke up and found that Biscuits was not beside her. She didn`t want to upset her mummy so she would lie on her back and stare at the clouds out of the huge window which faced south and which caught the sunshine in the afternoon, except on days like today when there were too many clouds for the sunshine to show through.
On these afternoons, although she was very small, Biscuits used to think about things. She used to think how clever a thing life was. How complicated it was but at the same time a very simple thing. She used to think about her own life and how it came from within her and that it was not for the making of anyone else. She used to feel quite useless sometimes and sometimes she would curse her broken foot for being made the way it was, all back to front and useless, and she would curse the callipers which she always had to use whenever she went to the shop to get something for mummy.
She hated the callipers which were meant to hold her legs straight and she hated the fact that her mummy used to have to help her put them on, but she liked her mummy and so she didn't hate herself too much. Because her mummy was always kind and she knew that if she was kind too, it was better than if she was horrid. Her mother always used to say that pleasant things were still going to happen if you were sad or wore a frown, and that being nasty would only make you hollow inside.
Biscuits knew that Biscuits was not her real name, although it was what everyone called her. She knew that nobody was really called Biscuits and that biscuits were things you ate, but her mummy never spoke to her formally like they would if she went to school and Fuzzy like to call her Biscuits so she thought that Biscuits was her real name really.
OnSunday while Biscuits mummy was cooking the biggest meal of the day she would send Biscuits out to the shop across the railway line at the place where the road forked up the hill. Biscuits used to like running errands for her mummy because she liked helping her. Because she was such a nice person and she used to get very tired and sad sometimes because she had no one to look after her, after Mr Biscuits died, except for Biscuits and her friend in the village. They would do things for her now and then when she needed things to be done but she just had to manage most of the time. And so Biscuits liked to help her when she could. On Sunday mornings, Biscuits mummy always used to ask Biscuits to go down to the shop over the railway line to ask the shopkeeper for some of the washing powder for their clothes and for a cake to scoff for their afters and for a packet of biscuits, which Biscuits would scoff on the way home because she was always scoffing things and she especially loved to scoff biscuits.
When they had both properly digested their lunch they would sit for a few hours in front of the fire and then Biscuits mummy would fall asleep. She wouldn`t even wake up when the little aeroplanes would go overhead which practiced in the sky.
Sometime Biscuits wanted to sneak off when her mummy fell asleep but she used to tell herself that her mummy would worry if she woke up and found that Biscuits was not beside her. She didn`t want to upset her mummy so she would lie on her back and stare at the clouds out of the huge window which faced south and which caught the sunshine in the afternoon, except on days like today when there were too many clouds for the sunshine to show through.
On these afternoons, although she was very small, Biscuits used to think about things. She used to think how clever a thing life was. How complicated it was but at the same time a very simple thing. She used to think about her own life and how it came from within her and that it was not for the making of anyone else. She used to feel quite useless sometimes and sometimes she would curse her broken foot for being made the way it was, all back to front and useless, and she would curse the callipers which she always had to use whenever she went to the shop to get something for mummy.
She hated the callipers which were meant to hold her legs straight and she hated the fact that her mummy used to have to help her put them on, but she liked her mummy and so she didn't hate herself too much. Because her mummy was always kind and she knew that if she was kind too, it was better than if she was horrid. Her mother always used to say that pleasant things were still going to happen if you were sad or wore a frown, and that being nasty would only make you hollow inside.
Biscuits knew that Biscuits was not her real name, although it was what everyone called her. She knew that nobody was really called Biscuits and that biscuits were things you ate, but her mummy never spoke to her formally like they would if she went to school and Fuzzy like to call her Biscuits so she thought that Biscuits was her real name really.
The old tree
It was in the old tree that Fuzzy first heard the wind telling him that one day he would be as old and wise as the tree had been before all its branches had come down in the storm and that although he was a small boy now of little consequence, that one day he would be a man of some importance and that he would own all the land surrounding this wood and beyond it up to the hill, form which you could see down to the next town. Fuzzy used to think that he was dreaming when he heard the wind talking to him and that he had fallen asleep. He thought that one day he might tell Biscuits what the wind had told him but he knew that Biscuits would only laugh at him, even if he gave her some flowers before he told her, so he didn`t tell her about the place where he hid from the world. (She knew about it anyway.)
Friday, 11 October 2013
ON FUZZY
Fuzzy was a funny little boy who was small enough to hide in a shoe box if he wanted to or sometimes if he had had enough of the world he would hide himself in a hollow which he found in the oldest tree in the wood whose branches had fallen off. Here nobody could find him for days. If you wanted to you could call his name out loud at the top of your voice but he would not come out because he would be humming himself happy little tunes and hoping nobody was looking for him. When he felt like this he wished that the whole world would stop or break down or fall to pieces because nothing he did ever seemed to please anyone and although he could run as fast as his peanutty little legs would carry him and sometimes be blown over the hills by the wind with his thick curly hair pushed forwards like a birds next, he could not escape from the world. So... Fuzzy would stay in the hollow of the old tree for days and he would be found because he liked it there. If the whole world could have joined him the should have been happy to.
This was in the summer months when the grass was thick and the trees spoke softly to you in the ways that they did if you listened carefully to the rhythms in which they spoke. Fuzzy was very good at listening because he was not very good at seeing things. When he put his thick pebbly glasses (which were only a pair of old bottle tops,) on, he could see the world much better. When he put them on, the whole world
came into focus and appeared to him as a globe might to an ant if he were to tread on its surface, only in reverse. Fuzzy liked to wear his glasses but if he took them he could hear what only some animals hear, magical things which you do not ever need to think about, which are there all the time and which are telling you things even though you may not be listening.
This was in the summer months when the grass was thick and the trees spoke softly to you in the ways that they did if you listened carefully to the rhythms in which they spoke. Fuzzy was very good at listening because he was not very good at seeing things. When he put his thick pebbly glasses (which were only a pair of old bottle tops,) on, he could see the world much better. When he put them on, the whole world
came into focus and appeared to him as a globe might to an ant if he were to tread on its surface, only in reverse. Fuzzy liked to wear his glasses but if he took them he could hear what only some animals hear, magical things which you do not ever need to think about, which are there all the time and which are telling you things even though you may not be listening.
Thursday, 10 October 2013
tales form the dingly dell the stories of fuzzy and biscuits
Biscuits and Fuzzy lived in the dingly dell and they were always happy.
Except sometimes, when Biscuits was naughty. She didn`t mean to be naughty. But she couldn`t help being naughty. She was just like that sometimes and sometimes she could be very nice. Biscuits always used to wear a dress with flowers on it when she wanted Fuzzy to notice her because Fuzzy liked flowers and when she wore her flowery dress Fuzzy always smiled and then Biscuits would smile too because she liked Fuzzy best of all when he smiled.
Fuzzy wore thick pebbly glasses like two old bottle tops stuck to his face. He was too young to go to school. If he did, the other children would probably make fun of him so Fuzzy didn`t go to school and he would prefer to go down to the dip at the bottom of the garden where the grass was long and the flowers were taller than he was and here he would lie down for an hour or two at a time.
On days when Fuzzy liked Biscuits and he felt charmed by the world he would use his skills to pick the brightest flowers he could find to give to her. On days when Fuzzy liked Biscuits he would spend hours looking for just the right shades or delicate hue in each flower so that the flowers would reflect the beauty he saw in her face.
Biscuits and Fuzzy were made for eachother. When they were together they were always happy. But they were not together all of the time because sometimes Biscuits liked to hide from Fuzzy when he had picked lots of flowers for her, when she knew he was looking for her. Sometimes Biscuits liked to help her mummy by drying the plates when she was doing the washing up, or when her mummy used to go and lie down, Biscuits would go and lie down in her room as well, so then Fuzzy could not find her.
Except sometimes, when Biscuits was naughty. She didn`t mean to be naughty. But she couldn`t help being naughty. She was just like that sometimes and sometimes she could be very nice. Biscuits always used to wear a dress with flowers on it when she wanted Fuzzy to notice her because Fuzzy liked flowers and when she wore her flowery dress Fuzzy always smiled and then Biscuits would smile too because she liked Fuzzy best of all when he smiled.
Fuzzy wore thick pebbly glasses like two old bottle tops stuck to his face. He was too young to go to school. If he did, the other children would probably make fun of him so Fuzzy didn`t go to school and he would prefer to go down to the dip at the bottom of the garden where the grass was long and the flowers were taller than he was and here he would lie down for an hour or two at a time.
On days when Fuzzy liked Biscuits and he felt charmed by the world he would use his skills to pick the brightest flowers he could find to give to her. On days when Fuzzy liked Biscuits he would spend hours looking for just the right shades or delicate hue in each flower so that the flowers would reflect the beauty he saw in her face.
Biscuits and Fuzzy were made for eachother. When they were together they were always happy. But they were not together all of the time because sometimes Biscuits liked to hide from Fuzzy when he had picked lots of flowers for her, when she knew he was looking for her. Sometimes Biscuits liked to help her mummy by drying the plates when she was doing the washing up, or when her mummy used to go and lie down, Biscuits would go and lie down in her room as well, so then Fuzzy could not find her.
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