Tuesday, 1 November 2016
Fuzzy in hiding
Fuzzy would hate Biscuits when she used to pretend that she was getting drunk. He would never say it to her face but he would make a point of wanting to see her if he thought that she was getting drunk and then he would make a point of going off by himself and sitting under one of those large leafs that you would find down by the river so that Biscuits would not be able to find him anywhere because he was so small.
Fuzzy did not want to hide from the world but sometimes to travel to different parts of the world to check up on what was going on there like the killing of so many elephants in Africa was unimportant to him.
To see the world on television in his house would be enough for him and then to go and run around outside and yell like small children do to attract attention that was his idea of fun . He was perfectly happy hiding under the big leaf and he would stay there shut off from the world for a number of days until somebody came to find him or he would hide himself in another place where he was more likely to be found.
Fuzzy was not a gregarious soul. He did not like to go to parties more often than he had to. Sometimes he hated parties and he would not turn up especially in summer when there were better things to do. Fuzzy hated having parties himself as he knew the basic ground rules for parties were simple. If you have a lot of people round to your house whom you hardly know they will kill you and hang you out of the window by your sandal straps and they will dip you in the jelly. Or if you don't invite enough people then it will look like you have no friends and that friends are unimportant to you.
It was a fact that neither Biscuits nor fuzzy knew,but when you hid from the world there would be one person who would seek you out and if they found you then it was usually enough then for you to be happy. For happiness happens when some one you like but whom you have not seen for a long time but who you were thinking of comes to find you.
If they did it would usually make you happy.
"How strange it all is" used to think Fuzzy while he was hiding under his leaf; that often all of life's rewards are so empty and meaningless and yet still you get drawn into playing the game and if you have something in the palm of your hand then it is still not yours for ever.
Biscuits and Fuzzy were not particularly brainy but they were rich because they had each other. When love is the right thing (so often it breeds only jealousy) then love is the money of God. A true reward. No one has riches and no one lives in absolute poverty then . For then we all become equal.
If you think you are going to live for a long time then you probably will live for a long time thought Fuzzy. The dragonflies which live only for one summer and which dart across the pond before him were not meant to live forever he guessed and the tiny tiny things so small they do not have names which lurk in the bottom of the pond that he liked to dig about in which had a life span of about five minutes, these things made Fuzzy happy.
Fuzzy was happy if he lasted a bit longer than this and if one day he became a fisherman. Fuzzy always thought that fishermen seemed to have the best life even though it was damp and cruel. Fuzzy hated eating fish but he liked the way they looked when you finally caught one and you pulled it out of the water or when they were swimming about underwater in tanks and in the sea.
Fuzzy did not want to hide from the world but sometimes to travel to different parts of the world to check up on what was going on there like the killing of so many elephants in Africa was unimportant to him.
To see the world on television in his house would be enough for him and then to go and run around outside and yell like small children do to attract attention that was his idea of fun . He was perfectly happy hiding under the big leaf and he would stay there shut off from the world for a number of days until somebody came to find him or he would hide himself in another place where he was more likely to be found.
Fuzzy was not a gregarious soul. He did not like to go to parties more often than he had to. Sometimes he hated parties and he would not turn up especially in summer when there were better things to do. Fuzzy hated having parties himself as he knew the basic ground rules for parties were simple. If you have a lot of people round to your house whom you hardly know they will kill you and hang you out of the window by your sandal straps and they will dip you in the jelly. Or if you don't invite enough people then it will look like you have no friends and that friends are unimportant to you.
It was a fact that neither Biscuits nor fuzzy knew,but when you hid from the world there would be one person who would seek you out and if they found you then it was usually enough then for you to be happy. For happiness happens when some one you like but whom you have not seen for a long time but who you were thinking of comes to find you.
If they did it would usually make you happy.
"How strange it all is" used to think Fuzzy while he was hiding under his leaf; that often all of life's rewards are so empty and meaningless and yet still you get drawn into playing the game and if you have something in the palm of your hand then it is still not yours for ever.
Biscuits and Fuzzy were not particularly brainy but they were rich because they had each other. When love is the right thing (so often it breeds only jealousy) then love is the money of God. A true reward. No one has riches and no one lives in absolute poverty then . For then we all become equal.
If you think you are going to live for a long time then you probably will live for a long time thought Fuzzy. The dragonflies which live only for one summer and which dart across the pond before him were not meant to live forever he guessed and the tiny tiny things so small they do not have names which lurk in the bottom of the pond that he liked to dig about in which had a life span of about five minutes, these things made Fuzzy happy.
Fuzzy was happy if he lasted a bit longer than this and if one day he became a fisherman. Fuzzy always thought that fishermen seemed to have the best life even though it was damp and cruel. Fuzzy hated eating fish but he liked the way they looked when you finally caught one and you pulled it out of the water or when they were swimming about underwater in tanks and in the sea.
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Biscuits and Hiccups
Hiccups, as might have been already explained, was Biscuits other secret friend besides Bobbin and she would come out occasionally when Biscuits didn`t ask her to come out like in the mornings when she was supposed to go to school but she had drunk too much milk.
Biscuits did make a good friend of Hiccups though, and she used to say that she was her best friend of all her most secret friends, if anybody asked her and she did not think it was extraordinary at all. It was not really my idea of a good friend, someone who would creep up on her when she didn`t want them to. When she was about to say something REALLY IMPORTANT. So Biscuits was never really on her own for very long really and she didn`t mind if Hiccups came to see her even when she was not invited. And Biscuits was never bored when Hiccups was around as she was always waiting for the next one to come along. So that if you said you were you were a Hiccup.
Biscuits did make a good friend of Hiccups though, and she used to say that she was her best friend of all her most secret friends, if anybody asked her and she did not think it was extraordinary at all. It was not really my idea of a good friend, someone who would creep up on her when she didn`t want them to. When she was about to say something REALLY IMPORTANT. So Biscuits was never really on her own for very long really and she didn`t mind if Hiccups came to see her even when she was not invited. And Biscuits was never bored when Hiccups was around as she was always waiting for the next one to come along. So that if you said you were you were a Hiccup.
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Biscuits Secret.
The thing which most people didn`t know and that no one will ever admit to you , is that Biscuits was an alcoholic. Bisky didn't like to talk about her boozy habits but she did like to swig down the whisky whenever there was a quiet spell with nothing to do and she would make these quiet spells in her day so that others would leave her alone so that she could get on with the task of being a thorough drunkard. Bisky was too young really to ever have any liking or real need for the Booze but she did have an old whisky bottle which she found buried in the back garden, which she had cleaned and filled with water and she would go hiccupping all around the lanes near her house so that the policeman and his wife, if they should see, would become quite worried about the condition of poor biscuits and used to wonder what they ought to do.
Although it was quaint of Biscuits to affect the mannerisms of an alcoholic it was something which extended way beyond the realms of being merely a bad joke. Biscuits had the whole routine down like a finely balanced act. Although many people talked about Old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house for sometimes the whole afternoon, no one would ever talk about Biscuits and some would say it was her lack of profile within the community on account of her being so small which had driven her to establishing this routine in the first place.
Although many would glance the way of old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house until many hours after they had finished drinking, there would not be any who would spare a scrap of conversation with him anything much of the time of day. Biscuits would wrap herself in old lettuce leafs to annoy the old codger and would dodge about in angry swerving motions to avoid his constant verbal abuse while at the same time provoking it. He was not the first drunk in the world and he should very probably not be the last but if there was hope for drunks the world over that one could send to them en masse, it should be that they might have a friend like Biscuits. Biscuits made being drunk look very easy. She would do all sorts of things to make Old Jack`s life a misery. You hardly had to be drunk at all with Biscuits about for if she became a little drunk at all, by drinking too much water or sometimes fizzy pop, if she became drunk at all, then she could catch you off guard with one of her drunken phrases like. "You know who you is you are you know." Which was always true no matter who you were. She would become all slurry and stupid after that. So no one would pretend that they had heard her when she said such stupid things. Things which were true anyway and did not really even need to be said.
They could not believe sometimes the rubbish that she would come out with when she would say things like: "There is more out than is in. More out than in you know." Until it became a mantra, I don`t think that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that you were not going to forget what she has said until late into the middle of the nigh. So that you would not forget her when you went home and tried to sleep easy in the night. You would hear the words: "There is more out than is in." repeated over and over. I don't think there is anything which she said which made sense most of the time anyway and there were few but Gerlinky who would trouble themselves to talk when she was sober. But when Biscuits was drunk she was terrible. There is nothing worse than a child of six or seven who is completely drunk and few would know as few have ever encountered a drunken biscuit.
There are eleven or twelve rules which should be observed if life is to be lived t its simples and this would be one of them. NEVER GIVE ALCOLHOL TO CHILDREN.
Although children will thank you they will not be grateful as a professional drinker like Old Jack would be grateful and who would still be pulling faces at you at three o`clock in the afternoon.
Biscuits hadn't wanted to become such an addict to the demon drink but since she had decided not to be tee-total she had some rum old times with Jack. Since discovering that she was an alcoholic Biscuits missed no social event that ever took place in the village in order that she might reach the heights of alcoholic giddiness she had so long desired to arrive at. She would now progress with thanks to the Vicar`s wifes` supply, who had carelessly left a bottle of home made lemon fizz under one of the tables at the village fete. Biscuits would now hold her nose with two fingers as she would down this lethal brew as if it were some godly nectar and not the urine of some farm animal, which it may as well have been. Biscuits did not like to make a show of her drinking and smoking really, though she nearly always would end up swaggering about puffing furiously at one of those sweet cigarettes which adults buy for children to get them through their teens so they are bound to take up smoking for real. Child junkies are (like Biscuits,) so often the victims of their own making and in need of a little love when there isn`t any. Biscuits didn't see the wonder in it all or question why it was that she saw these things the way that she did when she had drunk too much water or whatever she was on. She was by then too drunk to notice. But she knew that she was bound to end up in a huddled heap somewhere under a table with her head spinning if she did not watch her drinking. She knew if it didn`t get any better when her head wasn`t spinning and she just sat down and looked at the sky and it all seemed to go round and round and round and it wasn`t the clouds which were going in circles but her head so then she must have been drunk.
Biscuits didn`t know if she was drunk and she would just keep on behaving the same way as she was until someone said rubbish to her and she came to. Or someone said: "BOO!" She would promise herself that she was not going to become one of those ladies who spend half their lives saying they would give up when it suited them and when it suited them was when they were nearly dead on their feet. Then they would say that this was the best way to go. She would not become one of those sorts of ladies who could spend their whole lives consuming large numbers of cigarettes and alcohol, she would make sure that she was as pure as the driven snow. She would not thank you if you spat in her face but would behave as though it had been her intention that you should do so and that she had manufactured the whole affair. "Most People are Rubbish!" she would say to herself huffily as she puffed elegantly on a cigarette and congratulated herself with another swig of whisky from the bottle which was marked with a label that said whisky but which contained only water.
It was through drinking that Biscuits would arrive at her most profound thoughts and these were often things to do with how difficult it is ever for a child to understand the things that grown ups do and that there are things that a child must go through to become a grown up but these things are not particularly especial and happen to us all in anycase somehow so that the world thinks that it is special in some way while you yourself do not.
This was a peculiarly drunken thought, it has to be said, but however you look at life, life has a way of being drunk with you and tasting crap and horrid when you start off but somehow being alright later on if you can learn to somehow live with it. If anyone had told her that her life would be so childish and practically useless when she had grown up then she should have despaired. She could only do as could anybody, what (hiccup) it (hiccup) was gods intention for her to do. So she found purpose and if it was not too (hiccup) profound for her readers at this point she might just go to bed or she might start another even larger bottle of fizzy cider which she had just found in the cupboard under the sink and which might not be cider at all.
Who would have thought this should have been left here all this time and that no one should have noticed it?
Although it was quaint of Biscuits to affect the mannerisms of an alcoholic it was something which extended way beyond the realms of being merely a bad joke. Biscuits had the whole routine down like a finely balanced act. Although many people talked about Old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house for sometimes the whole afternoon, no one would ever talk about Biscuits and some would say it was her lack of profile within the community on account of her being so small which had driven her to establishing this routine in the first place.
Although many would glance the way of old Jack, who would always sit on the bench outside the public house until many hours after they had finished drinking, there would not be any who would spare a scrap of conversation with him anything much of the time of day. Biscuits would wrap herself in old lettuce leafs to annoy the old codger and would dodge about in angry swerving motions to avoid his constant verbal abuse while at the same time provoking it. He was not the first drunk in the world and he should very probably not be the last but if there was hope for drunks the world over that one could send to them en masse, it should be that they might have a friend like Biscuits. Biscuits made being drunk look very easy. She would do all sorts of things to make Old Jack`s life a misery. You hardly had to be drunk at all with Biscuits about for if she became a little drunk at all, by drinking too much water or sometimes fizzy pop, if she became drunk at all, then she could catch you off guard with one of her drunken phrases like. "You know who you is you are you know." Which was always true no matter who you were. She would become all slurry and stupid after that. So no one would pretend that they had heard her when she said such stupid things. Things which were true anyway and did not really even need to be said.
They could not believe sometimes the rubbish that she would come out with when she would say things like: "There is more out than is in. More out than in you know." Until it became a mantra, I don`t think that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that anything she said made sense when she was in this mood and she would go on so that you were not going to forget what she has said until late into the middle of the nigh. So that you would not forget her when you went home and tried to sleep easy in the night. You would hear the words: "There is more out than is in." repeated over and over. I don't think there is anything which she said which made sense most of the time anyway and there were few but Gerlinky who would trouble themselves to talk when she was sober. But when Biscuits was drunk she was terrible. There is nothing worse than a child of six or seven who is completely drunk and few would know as few have ever encountered a drunken biscuit.
There are eleven or twelve rules which should be observed if life is to be lived t its simples and this would be one of them. NEVER GIVE ALCOLHOL TO CHILDREN.
Although children will thank you they will not be grateful as a professional drinker like Old Jack would be grateful and who would still be pulling faces at you at three o`clock in the afternoon.
Biscuits hadn't wanted to become such an addict to the demon drink but since she had decided not to be tee-total she had some rum old times with Jack. Since discovering that she was an alcoholic Biscuits missed no social event that ever took place in the village in order that she might reach the heights of alcoholic giddiness she had so long desired to arrive at. She would now progress with thanks to the Vicar`s wifes` supply, who had carelessly left a bottle of home made lemon fizz under one of the tables at the village fete. Biscuits would now hold her nose with two fingers as she would down this lethal brew as if it were some godly nectar and not the urine of some farm animal, which it may as well have been. Biscuits did not like to make a show of her drinking and smoking really, though she nearly always would end up swaggering about puffing furiously at one of those sweet cigarettes which adults buy for children to get them through their teens so they are bound to take up smoking for real. Child junkies are (like Biscuits,) so often the victims of their own making and in need of a little love when there isn`t any. Biscuits didn't see the wonder in it all or question why it was that she saw these things the way that she did when she had drunk too much water or whatever she was on. She was by then too drunk to notice. But she knew that she was bound to end up in a huddled heap somewhere under a table with her head spinning if she did not watch her drinking. She knew if it didn`t get any better when her head wasn`t spinning and she just sat down and looked at the sky and it all seemed to go round and round and round and it wasn`t the clouds which were going in circles but her head so then she must have been drunk.
Biscuits didn`t know if she was drunk and she would just keep on behaving the same way as she was until someone said rubbish to her and she came to. Or someone said: "BOO!" She would promise herself that she was not going to become one of those ladies who spend half their lives saying they would give up when it suited them and when it suited them was when they were nearly dead on their feet. Then they would say that this was the best way to go. She would not become one of those sorts of ladies who could spend their whole lives consuming large numbers of cigarettes and alcohol, she would make sure that she was as pure as the driven snow. She would not thank you if you spat in her face but would behave as though it had been her intention that you should do so and that she had manufactured the whole affair. "Most People are Rubbish!" she would say to herself huffily as she puffed elegantly on a cigarette and congratulated herself with another swig of whisky from the bottle which was marked with a label that said whisky but which contained only water.
It was through drinking that Biscuits would arrive at her most profound thoughts and these were often things to do with how difficult it is ever for a child to understand the things that grown ups do and that there are things that a child must go through to become a grown up but these things are not particularly especial and happen to us all in anycase somehow so that the world thinks that it is special in some way while you yourself do not.
This was a peculiarly drunken thought, it has to be said, but however you look at life, life has a way of being drunk with you and tasting crap and horrid when you start off but somehow being alright later on if you can learn to somehow live with it. If anyone had told her that her life would be so childish and practically useless when she had grown up then she should have despaired. She could only do as could anybody, what (hiccup) it (hiccup) was gods intention for her to do. So she found purpose and if it was not too (hiccup) profound for her readers at this point she might just go to bed or she might start another even larger bottle of fizzy cider which she had just found in the cupboard under the sink and which might not be cider at all.
Who would have thought this should have been left here all this time and that no one should have noticed it?
Intuition
There would be days always when Bobbin was at school when Biscuits would despair of the world if the sun were not always shining and her mummy were cross.
She could sometimes feel that her life was a huge error that had been scribbled into the margins of what should have been a perfect life and she asked her own personal god whom she would carry around with her wherever she went that she might be forgiven for being born. Her god was always happy to help her because she knew that all of us at all times live on the edge of despair. That we should be glad sometimes of knowing that there is a life which exists besides our own forever, and although we are alone in this life we are never alone for long, as Gerlinky discovered when Biscuits tied its legs together with string (with bells on) as she slept.
When we are alone (mused Biscuits,) we are completely alone and may as well just vanish forever. When we are in the company of others our love is magnified to the whole world so that the whole world knows if we are happy. In this life it is terrible sometimes to know that it is impossible not to know a person, whom you have known and also that it is impossible to completely know your partner if you have one. If Biscuits had attended school more often she may have been a much wiser Biscuit than she was already. If this was the case then it was possible that she could take advice from the previous ill informed and intuitive Biscuits so that she could know where she was intuitively and not from all the things that she had been taught and all the things she thought that she needed to know. Her former Biscuity self really knew what was good for her most of the time and this would be to live in her mummy`s house and to know that the Fuzzer lived just around the corner and she could go there and annoy him at any time.
Biscuits did not mean to annoy Fuzzy but she could not help herself when she did. She would sometimes leave Fuzzy alone because he did not like being annoyed. She felt that if she left the village one day and she never saw Fuzzy ever it would make her cry but she knew that they were friends now and that they could not be friends always and life could only be as cruel as it could be kind.
She could sometimes feel that her life was a huge error that had been scribbled into the margins of what should have been a perfect life and she asked her own personal god whom she would carry around with her wherever she went that she might be forgiven for being born. Her god was always happy to help her because she knew that all of us at all times live on the edge of despair. That we should be glad sometimes of knowing that there is a life which exists besides our own forever, and although we are alone in this life we are never alone for long, as Gerlinky discovered when Biscuits tied its legs together with string (with bells on) as she slept.
When we are alone (mused Biscuits,) we are completely alone and may as well just vanish forever. When we are in the company of others our love is magnified to the whole world so that the whole world knows if we are happy. In this life it is terrible sometimes to know that it is impossible not to know a person, whom you have known and also that it is impossible to completely know your partner if you have one. If Biscuits had attended school more often she may have been a much wiser Biscuit than she was already. If this was the case then it was possible that she could take advice from the previous ill informed and intuitive Biscuits so that she could know where she was intuitively and not from all the things that she had been taught and all the things she thought that she needed to know. Her former Biscuity self really knew what was good for her most of the time and this would be to live in her mummy`s house and to know that the Fuzzer lived just around the corner and she could go there and annoy him at any time.
Biscuits did not mean to annoy Fuzzy but she could not help herself when she did. She would sometimes leave Fuzzy alone because he did not like being annoyed. She felt that if she left the village one day and she never saw Fuzzy ever it would make her cry but she knew that they were friends now and that they could not be friends always and life could only be as cruel as it could be kind.
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Bobbin
Biscuits had a good friend called Bobbin. Bobbin was very brainy like a boffin and Bobbin liked to go to school and impress everyone with the things she pretended to
Biscuits were important. But Bobbin liked going to school and she would not really mind if Biscuits did not go with her. Bobbin was Biscuits imaginary friend. Really Bobbin was her imaginary twin. They were like sisters even though no one could see Bobbin. But not everyone knew about Bobbin like they would if she was a real sister so Bobbin was Biscuits friend. Biscuits liked having Bobbin for a friend because besides going to school instead of Biscuits and answering all the questions which Biscuits would never be able to answer, Bobbin was Biscuits only proper friend, besides Gerlinky the cat who never talked to her now anyway and Fuzzy who was always hiding and was too special to be just a friend as he was magic. Oh! and there was Sammy who was her pet rabbit and so was her pet and not her friend.
Bobbin was really brainy, which was really good because it meant that Biscuits could be really stupid all of the time. Biscuits liked being silly though she didn`t like it when people said she was being silly because she knew herself when she was being silly and when she was not being silly. Only she knew if you were wrong. You were never forgiven and she would behave in just the same manner even more. Just to provoke. Which was her way.
Biscuits were important. But Bobbin liked going to school and she would not really mind if Biscuits did not go with her. Bobbin was Biscuits imaginary friend. Really Bobbin was her imaginary twin. They were like sisters even though no one could see Bobbin. But not everyone knew about Bobbin like they would if she was a real sister so Bobbin was Biscuits friend. Biscuits liked having Bobbin for a friend because besides going to school instead of Biscuits and answering all the questions which Biscuits would never be able to answer, Bobbin was Biscuits only proper friend, besides Gerlinky the cat who never talked to her now anyway and Fuzzy who was always hiding and was too special to be just a friend as he was magic. Oh! and there was Sammy who was her pet rabbit and so was her pet and not her friend.
Bobbin was really brainy, which was really good because it meant that Biscuits could be really stupid all of the time. Biscuits liked being silly though she didn`t like it when people said she was being silly because she knew herself when she was being silly and when she was not being silly. Only she knew if you were wrong. You were never forgiven and she would behave in just the same manner even more. Just to provoke. Which was her way.
Not much to do
It is true that in the Dingly Dell sometimes there is not much to do. Thankfully the residents of this place were very good at amusing themselves. It was by amusing herself that Bisky the biscuit had come to be known as a naughty person, for her idea of fun was usually her mother`s idea of misery. To watch an idea as to what might constitute fun enter Bisky`s tiny mind, to see it gather speed and be hastened into motion was what fascinated most of the folk who were fortunate (or unfortunate,) enough to know Biscuits. To encounter her scheming plans or fall foul of a badly carried out manoeuvre which always bore the hallmark of Biscuit which she gave to each misdeed. Most people said that these uncharities would be her undoing, though this was not going to be the case, for it was these jolly escapades and through them
her realising her true nature, which meant that she would survive this life unspoilt by a morality which ruled the lives of so many naughty children.
Biscuits did not go to school very often. The Birds in the trees and the geese which flew overhead in August did not go to school and Fuzzy did not go to school so neither would she.
her realising her true nature, which meant that she would survive this life unspoilt by a morality which ruled the lives of so many naughty children.
Biscuits did not go to school very often. The Birds in the trees and the geese which flew overhead in August did not go to school and Fuzzy did not go to school so neither would she.
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